Being Efficient with Dialogue

This question was posted by Angela Shafer in the comments section:

Thank you ever so much for the invite, Tennyson. I was just thinking about what topic I would like to discuss. I have a tendency to pick on the James Cameron film 'Titanic' because I don't think it was very well-written, though it won a slew of Oscars and, until 'Avatar,' which I haven't seen, it was the highest-grossing film of all time. There is one moment that stands out in my mind as a good line in the wrong scene context. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are trying to get up a set of steps to make their way to the back of the ship (my ship jargon escapes me at the moment) because the ship is about to tip up and go into the ocean. As they begin to ascend the steps, Leonardo, as Jack, stands behind a praying, slow-moving man. He says to the man something along the lines of 'can you walk through that valley of the shadow of death a little faster?' It is a funny line, but when you're trying to get yourself and the woman you love to safety, or at least as safe as you can get, do you stop to make jokes? How many precious seconds were lost while delivering that line? No wonder he ended up becoming a blueberry popsickle.
So, here's my writing question. When you know you have a good line, but it seems slightly askew of the scene's context, do you strike the line for a better time or do you leave it in and tell the actor to make it work? I say strike the line, but what do my fellow writers think?

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Permalink Reply by Tennyson E. Stead on April 11, 2010 at 12:06pm

Great question, Angela! The fast answer is that every piece of dialogue is a piece of action, and should be treated at such.

Now, sometimes we create a character with a mind towards the kinds of actions they're going to take. In a comedy, we want to create characters who naturally do ridiculous things. In an action film, we create characters who can grow into heroes as the film progresses.

What's more, the kinds of actions that are considered reasonable, funny, or whatever depend in part on the tone of the world that was being created.

Offhand, I don't remember the moment from Titanic you're referencing. When it comes to story, Cameron's no fool - probably, he was thinking that in that moment, with those characters, in that situation, that's how Jack would get the praying man to quicken things up. Maybe he was trying to help reassure the people around him - I'm not sure.

At the same time, you're right to look for efficiency in action. Let the characters you've created pursue their goals as relentlessly and completely as possible, and trust those characters to do things that will set an interesting tone for the film.

Don't adjust dialogue to reset the tone of your film. Adjust the motives of the characters, and let the effects trickle down onto the page.

Permalink Reply by Florica Cimpoies on April 11, 2010 at 8:46pm

Hello Angela,

I was thinking about your question since a while. (2-3 weeks: Transylvanian slow motion thinking :)...)
Well I am at my first stages, only five years. I don't claim having a better vision.

So what I've finally decided to say about this is as follow: In this story Jack is an extravagant painter and an unconventional man. Everything he does is out of *conventions and rules*. He dares to fall in love with a woman which should be not for him(according to conventions) and make a nude drawing of her in the room of her "fiancé"..... he's a kind of explosive, extraordinary mixture which leads him to become an unknown hero, the kind of hero that lives every second at speed of light .
So when you have this kind of character and you have Leonardo Di Caprio to tell this line, I think is very safety to let him do it. I suppose he can say nearly everything in any kind of circumstances and make it look real, make it work.
Beside Jack is a legend who lives in the old Rose's mind. More o less the movie is about him, and secondly about Rose and the Titanic;

Beside this I'll need to be in Cameron's Moccasins for at least two month (would be great two hours!!! Hi Hi !) before I may have a better choice for this. Thanks for the question; very intersting!!!

Permalink Reply by Angela Shafer on April 12, 2010 at 10:48am

Interesting points. The reason I'd asked the question was because of, yes, the 'Titanic' moment, but my experience, so far, is in theatre. I remember one of the directors I worked with as a stage manager always said you never question the playwright, no matter what, you make what's on that page work. When I stage managed 'The Foreigner,' the actor who played the boyfriend/Klan member said it didn't make sense to him for his character to be the boss, so to speak, of another character only to take orders from this same person once they were in Klan robes. It's been a few years since the play, but he didn't see why he would be giving orders, then taking order from this other character. I watched as he debated with the director for at least half an hour. I could see his point, but the director said that's what the playwright put down on paper, so that is how it will be, whether it made sense to him or not. In the end, nothing was changed and he played the part as written, though he still had a problem with it.
I haven't seen one of my screenplays make it to production, yet, but I have had enough experience to know it is a collaborative process, where everyone has something to say. I was just wondering how flexible it is in screenwriting versus playwrighting. So many people have chimed in on it and a writer wants his/her story treated with consideration for his/her original idea. I was just wondering how often things do get changed and how often an actor is told to, in the famous words of 'Project Runway's' Tim Gunn to 'make it work.'

Permalink Reply by Tennyson E. Stead on April 12, 2010 at 12:19pm

In the end, it depends completely on who's producing, directing, and starring in the piece. Every production is it's own thing.

Permalink Reply by Florica Cimpoies on April 12, 2010 at 3:49pm

Thank you so much Angela for your response.
You bring in more new points that I'll want to think about before I'll say something on. But I really believe this points are interesting and I want to talk about.

My best

Florica
P.S.
Just as Tennyson says every production must be different.

Angela Shafer said:

Interesting points. The reason I'd asked the question was because of, yes, the 'Titanic' moment, but my experience, so far, is in theatre. I remember one of the directors I worked with as a stage manager always said you never question the playwright, no matter what, you make what's on that page work. When I stage managed 'The Foreigner,' the actor who played the boyfriend/Klan member said it didn't make sense to him for his character to be the boss, so to speak, of another character only to take orders from this same person once they were in Klan robes. It's been a few years since the play, but he didn't see why he would be giving orders, then taking order from this other character. I watched as he debated with the director for at least half an hour. I could see his point, but the director said that's what the playwright put down on paper, so that is how it will be, whether it made sense to him or not. In the end, nothing was changed and he played the part as written, though he still had a problem with it.
I haven't seen one of my screenplays make it to production, yet, but I have had enough experience to know it is a collaborative process, where everyone has something to say. I was just wondering how flexible it is in screenwriting versus playwrighting. So many people have chimed in on it and a writer wants his/her story treated with consideration for his/her original idea. I was just wondering how often things do get changed and how often an actor is told to, in the famous words of 'Project Runway's' Tim Gunn to 'make it work.'

Permalink Reply by Florica Cimpoies on April 13, 2010 at 1:56pm

I trust you Tennyson about that. I think it is a creative process that has to be kept open during the production. And if something must be changed in order to bring more magic/life to the final result we shall be open to do it. But that's only my opinion; the reality I guess is different from one production to another just like you say.

Tennyson E. Stead said: